Covered

I really should of wrote about this yesterday, because I had so many profound things to say that just all seem to be a blur today. Don’t you hate when that happens, it’s like you’re going to tell his awesome story then all of a sudden your brain spasms or something.

Any who…

I made the trip back to Miami yesterday for the 7th Annual Florida Entertainment Summit. Yay, #FESummit. No way when I got up that morning and packed up my things did I think I was setting out for an adventure. Well, I guess I should’ve known something wasn’t right when I didn’t wake up in my own bed and still had yet to pack when I knew dang well I would be away from my closet for 7 days or more.

But, I just kept on with the flow of the day, looked at the itinerary for #FESummit events tried to be a responsible packer rather than a crammer trying to take my entire closet. It really just boils down to the shoes, I want to take all of my shoes, I don’t have that one universal pair. Whatever, so I’m driving running all my errands before I get on the highway let’s say I left my apartment at 10:15am, I didn’t get on my way to Miami until 1:30pm which really sucks when you think I have to do another 2 hours of driving just to get to Miami!

Make a long adventure short, I get a flat tire in my cousin’s car. Never happened to me before I always see people stopped on the side of the road with a flat and I say a silent prayer for them and then an out loud dramatic one for myself;

“Lord I don’t know what I’d do if that was me, thank JESUS it’s not me LAWD, but be with them, because  I know I would’ve lost my mind!!!!”

I know you’re thinking it, she lost her mind. Not sure how I managed to not lose my mind but I was actually calm. Called my cousin, asked about her spare and her jack, put on the emergency lights and got down to it. I’m jackin’ up the car getting ready to get down and dirty and then I realize if I do this the wrong way it may be worse for me! I still don’t panic but I decide to phone a friend maybe she can youtube it for me. She did one better though, hooked me up with the number for the Florida road rangers and said they’d come and do the heavy lifting for me. Now, mind you out of the corner of my eye I see a truck pulled over and the driver walking towards me.

I’ve seen enough scary movies so I’m like do I make this conversation longer or do I continue to go about jackin’ up this car and ignore his approach? He finally gets close enough to the car to where I can kind of make out what he looks like and I’m thinking:

“Lawd you would make a flat tire bring me a man!”

Don’t judge me, it was the Single Girl Blues in me and from a far he seemed to be attractive not to mention in my head he was coming to save me! He got a little closer and I realized he was an older gentleman so I let go of the idea that he may be the future boo, again don’t judge me it’s been 24 years of me being the ‘single friend’!

He wasn’t scary and he got right down to taking off the flat tire and attempting to replace it with the spare, which proved difficult, we later realized that the spare was too small. I was ready to give up and say I’ll just wait for the alligators to come and get me, I mean I was still a good hour away from home on the infamous ‘Alligator Alley’. No quitter am I though so I quickly pushed the notion aside and asked if he thought maybe I could get someone to come out and repair the tire on site?  This is when he definitely became my hero rolling the tire across the alley to the next exit!

He risked his life for me. So, I’m sitting in the car looking to the road to see if he made it back safely. Lazily panting my pinky pink testing out a new nail polish color when another truck pulls up beside me. My gaurdian angel man made friends at the Micousokee* gas station and they gave him a ride back to my car with my repaired tire!

He didn’t ask for any kind of money, he’s a truck driver and would be leaving for California the next day for a 50 hour drive so I couldn’t  even take him to lunch to say thank you. You know what he said to me?

“Today for you, tomorrow for me.”

More people need to think like that, in 2-hours time he was the only person to stop or even slow down to assist me. Really have to pay things like this forward. I know with all that is in me that God sent that man to come to my assistance, I probably would’ve given up on myself in 2-hours but he didn’t, he purchased the fix a flat gifted me with the kit and even gave me some grapes off of his truck. Which he didn’t even expect me to drive him to. He wanted nothing of me and even after driving across the country anxious to get home he gave me all of him in service.

I gave him my number but I really wished that I took his. Hopefully he calls so that I can thank him properly. Good people exist out there and I’m praying that I can be so good to another person.

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

P.S.

Being alone on the alley and having to fix my own flat for those first 20m-inutes (possibly exaggerated) made me really aware that I was single and had no man friend to call and help me out with the situation. I tried calling Mr. Wright on my sister’s suggestion and a day later he hasn’t called back to see why I called. Guess that situation is finally dead and over. I could have called my client but how would that have looked?

Luckily for some reason I can only attribute to God, I didn’t travel in my house clothes, and actually got dressed to take this trip. Praise be to God for this not  happening on a day when I looked a hot-mess. My mom and my sister are always admonishing me for not taking ‘pride’ in my appearance. I’ve been known to take road trips in my night clothes or with curlers in my hair. When my sister called and asked how I was looking out on the side of the alley, I was proud to announce that ‘baby girl’ was looking mighty fine!

My Best Relationships

I don’t know why I subject myself to this.  I’m sitting here feeling like I have the best relationship ever, then I snap out of it and realize I was just watching The Brothers, The Best Man, Love Jones, Waiting To Exhale, Just Wright, Love & Basketball or anyone of those other love stories that helps me escape. It feels great in the moment but then when the credits are over I realize, I’m single and I don’t have one relationship to compare their love to.

I’ve been having a love affair with romance novels and films since middle school. I’m ready for my starring role. [Heavy Sigh] Now where do I start?

Guess I’ll just put in another movie for now and figure it out.

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

PS

Currently reading MadameNoire.com 7 Reasons You Might Be Alone keeping fingers crossed that I can’t relate! LOL

Measure Of My Success

What’s this twice in one week? Yay me!

So, I’ve been reading Necole Bitchie’s personal blog iamNecole.com and I have to admit this woman is quite inspiring. Yesterday my Bestie shared with me an anecdote from a sermon she heard this past Sunday, the Pastor stated “your testimony is your business card” and boy does Miss. Necole have a testimony.

I started with her very first post listed in her site’s archive this past Friday and I’m reading my way up to the present and with every new post that I read I’m more inspired. Today I read a post where she talks about meeting Will Smith for the first time and his shared words of wisdom. “99% is the same as 0. If you’re going to do 99, go ahead and stay home.”

Just powerful, I don’t want to do 99% anymore that’s all I’ve been doing. I can’t truly say I’ve been doing my best my potential is far greater than this. I’m about 3 pages into my vision book and I feel a difference in my spirit, not 2012 but right now in this very moment is my time to be great.

Yesterday I had a very stressful day, rather then paying off my car like I planned to do, I had to use that money to purchase two new tires. I spent most of my day figuring out the best tire deals, then running around town looking for an office space passing out fliers and reacquainting myself with SWFL. Yes, I moved back home, it’s like saying it out loud for the first time…weight lifting. It’s not how I planned my day in my sleep the night before but it was still pretty productive.

However, by 6PM I was beat and ready to break an implied promise to my niece to attend her first dance recital. Somehow I mustered up the strength and got there early to help her get dressed and apply her make up. I felt this surge of pride, I’m glad I didn’t miss this moment. I could have done without the little kids thinking I was her mother, however, but even that was ok. I was able to purchase her a dance shirt and short set, I made her take hundreds of pictures then me and my sister took all three of her kids out to dinner.  These are the moments that made me so anxious to move back, I was missing important family moments, I felt so left out hearing things over the phone and catching a moment stolen during a short visit was not the same. I was missing my nieces and nephews growing up, not to mention one of my spoiled nieces thinks I’m a stranger, it’s just heart breaking.

While sitting at the dinner table the kids being kids, the fatigue started to creep in and the burst of energy that temporarily swept the fatigue away came crawling back over me. I’m sitting there with my eyes closed rubbing the bridge of my nose trying to massage away the tension headache and my sister out of know where says to me; “now all you need is a boyfriend”.

My eyes immediately snapped open! “Huh?” this was so out of the blue mind you she and I have hardly spoken to each other these last few days and when we do speak we don’t have that let’s talk about life relationship. We’re just not that kind of close. I know she and everyone else in my family wants me to date because to them I’m 24 years old and I’ve never brought a guy home. Either I’m gay or will become an old maiden, but for her to actually say it to me, left me quite puzzled.

Add to it the way she said it, like you’re doing so well now, you’ve graduated, you work for yourself, you get to travel, now all you need is a man. Is that the measure of my success, when I settle down?

Love is an incredible thing but we don’t know love like we should. Unconditional love we don’t know it because if a person stops stimulating us, we stop loving them.
—Lauryn Hill

I can’t even front like I don’t want to be in a relationship. I do, but it’s just not happening for me right now. I get lonely, I’m singing the single girl blues. Yet, I’m trying my hardest to believe this is all God’s plan, because this is God’s plan for me. Only he knows why I’m 24 a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I’ve come close to settling before and I don’t want that, I want real love. I don’t want love that’s insecure or makes me feel insecure, I want love that supports me and helps me grow. I don’t want shallow love I want deep everlasting love. Granted I may have to kiss a few frogs to really learn what I like so that I can have that in relationship but I don’t want a man to be the measure of my success.

My plan is to start dating, and in order to do that I’m going to get out more. My excuse before was I didn’t have any money oh well budget will hold me back forever because I feel even if I did have the million I would feel like I didn’t have any money. Just like dressing for the life and job I want I’m going to get out and enjoy the life I want to live. There has to be something out here to do!

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

No more 99% the measure of my success is that I refuse to lose!

Is This Thing On?

OMG people actually come and read this blog, who would of thought? Thank you!

Striving for greater!

Have you ever been so hungry for success that you got lost in your own shuffle? This is NOT where I’m supposed to be, this is not where I imagined I would be.

I’m not living here:

I’m not driving this:

My family isn’t this:

But my glass is half full, translation it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. That’s what I realized this weekend, just because I haven’t reached my goal doesn’t mean that I won’t. I still have time to make my first million by the age of 30. I fully intend to live in my own condo with an orgasmic view of the city. My family will come together as a collective unit, and I’ll have the staring role in one of the greatest love stories ever told with the man God has for me.

Although I’m headed to the bank Monday to pay off my Toyota Yaris, which I love and want to hold on to for another few years, why shouldn’t I drive my all black Lexus Sedan after I gift my niece with my Yaris?

I have all these plans and I now know my shortcomings are all in direct correlation with me NOT writing them down. When I first started my blog & youtube channel I’ll admit I was a happier more positive person. When I shared with the few people that read and watched my posts what I wanted or what I had planned for myself I was calling those things into my life. As I started getting those things however, I lost focus on the finish line. Became a little bit complacent and negative and I couldn’t really put my finger on why until now, but by golly I’ve got it and I’m not letting go.

The Lord’s awesome promise to us is this “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth in me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father” (John 14:12).

Greater works. Even when I obtain my short term or long term goals I’ll always want for greater and it has nothing to do with being unsatisfied or greedy, but more to do with knowing what the Father has laid out for me. We’re all destined for greatness we can’t lose sight of that. So, if you like me have been feeling lethargic, unproductive, procrastinating, negative get up and do something about it.

I’m going to start blogging more and I’ve also started a vision book so that I continue to visualize the things I want in my life.

  • I want to be a GREAT publicist. I want to be the best at creating brand awareness, inspirational campaigns, the best at creating brand partnerships.
  • I want to represent athletes, actors, models, musicians, dignitaries.
  • I want to be more active with my sorority.
  • I want to travel the world, visit Paris, Africa, the Caribbean. (Finally applied to renew my passport, now to put it to good use!)
  • I want to be married! To someone that loves God and supports me in all that I do, is never threatened with my level of success. That is a man and let’s me be a woman, who is a provider and believes in family values. Falls more in love with me every day even when I do things to get on his nerves. A man that makes me laugh so hard I snort. Who knows my unwavering support for him in all he does and in all of his endeavors  will have me stand proudly by his side.
  • Oh can’t forget I want to be fit! I want a body that’s all woman yet lean & healthy, okay I want abs, a tight tush, never ending legs, arms that point to the gun show I want it all! *hehe*

I’m calling these things into my life!

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

Okay now that I know you’re out there and reading my blog, I really want to hear back from you. Leave a comment, a link to your own blogs if you have them anything. I would really love to interact with you all.

Dream Interpretation

I’ve been having weird dreams lately, the crazy thing is I can rarely remember what my dreams are about once I wake up. I’ve had a dream like this before and having it again I’ll admit had me a bit worried, so I looked it up.

Supposedly it signifies my willingness to give or receive pleasure/joy. Symbolic of my creative energy and it reaffirms that I’m headed in the right direction in life. It is also supposedly symbolic of greater self love and acceptance; and that I may need to get in touch with my feminine side.

Self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion.

Never really tried to interpret a dream before, but I really want to believe this one.

I’ve been feeling like a procrastinator so this dream has given me a cheerful disposition.

CheCh3

It Just Keeps Calling Me Man! Tempted To Shop

I’m so tempted to grab my keys and rush out to the nearest NY&Company!!

This has to be a sign…During Memorial Weekend I prayed and asked that if it was meant to be Lord extend this sale past the holiday. & Guess what it was! Then I was traveling for work so I said, well Lord if they extend it another week so I can shop while I’m at home…

& LOOK

CheCh3

#SingleLadies

Watching new VH1 series #SingleLadies [I should be working] but D.B. Woodside is a very SEXY man. Is it the confidence, maturity or that chocolate skin?

CheCh3

Yet Another Realization

I’ve been fasting…I guess I should not berate myself because many people probably go through the things that I’m going through during a spiritual fast. However, when you’re in your head most of the time like I am you tend to over analyze situations. I find that I’m often discouraged at my aptitude for prayer. I mean it’s just you talking to God, how can I not be doing that right? But, I find fault in it and then that brings about worry that I will have misused this 45 days to get closer to God, and oh how I long to be, need to be closer.

I woke up this morning with the realization that I’ve been dumbing myself down. The realization made me wonder about the Marianne Williamson piece; “Our Greatest Fear”

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not be?

You are a child of God.

Powerful, who am I not to be great. Why should I hinder myself from striving for greater works when to be great is embedded in the very confines of my DNA. What is this thing called fear that refuses to let me go? I don’t know when fear won the battle but it’s essential that I win the war. I have so much to do and in the amount of time that no man can measure.

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

P.S.

Blogging is therapeutic… that’s why I began the blog in the first place for when I needed to get out of my head but of course like many things I let it fall from the way side. Still finding my way back to me a journey made for a drama, comedy, thriller & action film all in one. I finally made it to California and had an amazing stay in ATL I should write about those soon!

Single Girl Blues: Realization

When most people look at your life they see the glass as half full, this is the lesson that I’ve learned in the past few months since my last post. You think….”Oh my life is falling apart around me” they think “She has everything together”. When you step outside of yourself for a moment I guess it’s easy to see how someone would think your life is better than theirs but I’ll follow the advice of my Mother live the life you have rather than wishing for the life of another…you already know YOUR problems the hidden ones that they carry maybe far worse.

Well the year is coming to an end and I’m still singing my Single Girl Blues, at this final chapter of the year in my journey I’m realizing something about my past dating experiences…I have been a VERY insecure single girl. At first I almost cried at this realization, I’m thinking I’m very self confident many people even recognize this trait in me. I’ve been lying to myself, I maybe secure and self confident in somethings but when it comes to dating I have been  insecure.

In “Back From Hiatus (Hopefully) I mentioned that Mr. Right was back on the scene, I spoke about him in a post briefly when reflecting on my experience with ‘Poison’, but in “Back From Hiatus’ I mentioned that I wasn’t sure if he was MY Mr. Right. I listened to other people when they said I should give him a chance,

“stop postponing dates with the guy, he’s really nice, he put up with all of your mess, it’s all in your mind, you’re just not over Poison.”

So, I did away with what I thought was right for me and tried to see my world in the eyes of others…and I will admit it was GREAT, I enjoyed my time with him when I finally decided to accept an invitation to hang out we had chemistry he made me laugh and I felt comfortable around him. I still had a nagging feeling that he may not be my Mr. Right but because things were going so well I decided that I could ignore somethings.

PLEASE: Don’t settle, if you know it’s not what you want don’t just take it because it’s there.

Regret is not a good feeling. Double dates, home made dinners, watching basketball games and scary movies cuddled on the sofa, falling asleep in each others arms it all felt great. I don’t regret him, or even this feeling now but if I did I know it would feel far worse.

Where did the insecurity come in?

When he wasn’t around…it wasn’t that I missed him (although I did miss him)…it was more that I wondered what took up his time. Who was he with when he wasn’t with me? Why didn’t he call or text me like he did the first time around? (Before I did what I did) I began to make excuses:

you hurt him once you told him you liked ‘Poison’ and wasn’t sure who you wanted to be with, he’s distant because he doesn’t trust you.

Then I thought:

well maybe I shouldn’t trust him for that same reason he hadn’t completely forgiven me he was being such a GREAT guy to make me fall for him and then he would walk out on me and say he wanted to be with someone else.

I found myself changing my mindset from:

I’m not ready to be in a relationship to I’m ready now Mr. Right so commit to me!!

When he expressed he wasn’t ready to commit to me my insecurities manifested more. People I really did things out of character. Here I was taking a ‘casual dating’ situation and  becoming demanding, I was jealous, I nagged, I was clingy and when he didn’t come through the way I wanted I was highly disappointed for days. All of my self confidence was fleeing at a rapid pace. When he did something wrong I feared that I had done something wrong.

Who is this single girl? Where had the girl that loved her independence? You didn’t even want to hang out with him, you told him for years when he tried to commit to you that you didn’t want a relationship, now you’re demanding one and you’re not even sure if he’s your Mr. Right? Selfish and spoiled come to mind.

I should be on cloud 9 right now, one of the biggest events our firm organizes went off with great success, but instead at the end of every work day when I checked my missed calls and text messages and saw that he hadn’t called I almost cried lucky for me the event was three days long and I could hold it together for those three days but at the end of the weekend when he still hadn’t called and I had reached out to  him and he didn’t respond I cried, what had I done to make him ignore me? I didn’t think that’s rude of him or he’s very immature immediately I placed the blame on my shoulders.

That’s when realization set in…any relationship that would have blossomed from our dating would have been doomed because I was not secure in myself when with him. Yes, I’m sitll hurt by it…but anger isn’t one of the feelings that I have towards him. I can’t say the same for my end with ‘Poison’ but that’s okay because I’ve realized something else I’m growing. If he’s not MY Mr. Right, I can say he was right for me then because this has been a lesson learned. If we reconcile I know myself better, I know where my joy resides.

Growth is good.

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

P.S.

Realizing the problem doesn’t make it vanish but it’s the first step in finding a solution. I’m really hurt by the situation but rather then dwell in that feeling I rather repair myself to the secure me. Taking my heart to my heavenly Father he’ll know what to do with it.

Yay Me!

After hearing “no” so much, hearing “yes” is just so overwhelmingly sweet. Most of my close confidants have heard me complain these past few weeks about my career. I wasn’t sure I was cut out for this but, with each day my skin grows thick, and my passion propels me further. I made the right choice! Not many people figure out their career paths in the 8th grade, but I did, and that’s awesome.

This is too funny, I think people really are thinking this way. So not the look to go for!

Well that’s all for now, until next time I’ll just be naturally me!

CheCh3

P.S.

Headed to the gym again this morning! Yay me!

Hearing yes, also makes it easier for me to say  yes, but that’s for another post!

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